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ohbrooks
09 July 2009 @ 05:29 am
Josh gets back from work tonight and I'm still awake, ostensibly working on a paper.  Josh has had a horrible shift, because his coworker is a lazy dick.  We decide to go to arbys (or rather, I wanted arbys and told josh I'd get him curly fries if he came with me).

On the way back, I see the little A frame barricade still leaning against a tree where it has been for weeks.  It's 0445, I look at Josh and ask if he wants it.  The answer is a very enthusiastic yes.  We drive around the block, and I pull up next to the tree.  Josh jumps out of the car, grabs it, shoves it in the backseat... and realizes it's attached to 50 feet of police tape which he proceeds to stuff in the car as I go OHSHITACAR.  He slams the door and I pray that there isn't any tape hanging out the door.  Josh jumps back in and we take the hell off.  We pass 2 police cars going the other way.  I am very thankful they are going the other way, because I'm still half convinced we're trailing police tape from the passenger side.

We're almost back at the house when we see a BIG ASS road work sign sitting against a building.  We share an 'oh hell yes' look.  Get to the house, take our newest possession in, giggling like 12 year olds the whole time.  Walk the half block down to the big ass road sign.  Josh picks it up and RUNS across the street, and I wish I could describe this scene.  The sign is only a foot shorter than him, and as wide as it is tall.  I can only see his head and feet as he scramble runs across the street trying to fight the wind and the huge fucking sign.  We get into the alley and the running ceases, because we're in a freaking ALLEY and no one is going to see it (or if they do, they're not going to give a shit).  It takes more time to get the sign in the door than it did to steal it.  

In other news, it seems we're trying to see how much illegal shit we can do in a 24 hour period.  Most people, I think, do LESS illegal shit as they get older.  I spent my teens being a mostly good kid, I think I'm making up for that now.
 
 
Current Location: Ville
Current Mood: deviousdevious
Current Music: Dan Auerbach
 
 
ohbrooks
08 July 2009 @ 08:28 pm
This might be TL;DR but trust me, it's worth it.

Josh and I have a Red Ryder BB Gun.  Josh and I get BORED.  Josh and I like to shoot pedestrians from our 2nd story window (yes, I'm aware this probably makes me a horrible person, I don't particularly care).

Today, the internets DIED.  I was bored, so I took the gun to the man cave smoke room shooting range (aka the room where we smoke and from which we shoot people). There were no pedestrians, so I was shooting birds.  Josh comes in the room, we're just shooting at the for rent sign down the road.  Then these two guys walk past the house.  Despite the fact that we both had misgivings about shooting these people, we were like... y'know what, fuck it.  Josh shot the guy.  As we do every time we shoot someone, we went YES. FUCK. and then hid until they walked away.  These people didn't walk away.  We were army crawling through the apartment.  I go to the window, don't see them... look down, they're standing in the front yard. Go FUCKSHITDAMN. 

Decide I will walk out to smoke/see what these guys are about.  Pretend to be o.O about them being in my yard, ask them what they're doing in my yard.  They say someone in our house shot them with a pellet gun.  I am torn between LOL and FUCK. Went with asking if they were okay.  Guy was all, I'm fine but I have this HUGE WELT and shows it to me... it didn't even look like a mosquito bite.  I have been shot with a pump action BB Gun, that shit IS painful.  Our gun is spring loaded, it is more of a WTF than an OW.  I talk to them a while, pretend I live downstairs and don't know who lives upstairs.  Also tell them our landlord is not here (oh she totally was, but can't lie for SHIT). I am shaking like a LEAF.  I tell them I'm diabetic and have low blood sugar, the not-shot guy is all oh need your insulin. me... noooo, that would make my blood sugar even LOWER I need to eat (I am NOT actually diabetic, but thank fuck I know that low sugar DOES make you shaky as shit.) The guy CALLS THE COPS.  I am very OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK at this point, tell them I need to go eat but will check to see if the upstairs tenet is there.

Run upstair go OH FUCK JOSH WE NEED TO LEAVE POST HASTE.  We think very seriously about jumping out the window and driving away.  Decide this will be a bad. call. because we would probably just break ourselves if we jump out.  So I look at Josh and ask if he can lie.  He goes... I dunno, have cigarettes?  

We go back out.  Josh tells them he lives upstairs but has been playing video games and didn't hear anything.  Josh and I talk to them awhile while we wait for the cops.  Guys walk away to flag down the cops.  I look at Josh and go fuck... we can't lie to the cops... too much. So the two youngish WASPy cops walk over without the guy we shot.  I tell them that we shot them when we were shooting at a bird in a tree with our Red Ryder and it glanced off but we were afraid to tell the guys because they were big and we're not (they WERE big, but we totally could have taken them. They looked like pussies).  One of the cops is trying really hard not to laugh, and goes "A red ryder? One of those spring loaded BB Guns?" yep, one of those.  At this point he is grinning.  He asks if we have records, how old we are, etc. Then asks if we were aiming for the guy "Oh god no! We were shooting the bird! They get in my garden all the time. And it glanced off the tree and hit the guy!"

The cops are both trying not to laugh at this point.  One of them says he'll go talk to the guys, tell them it was an accident, and see what they want to do.  They walk back, the guys walk off (pointedly NOT looking at us at all).  The cops tell us we shouldn't shoot while there are people walking, because, and I quote "You might shoot someone's eye out".  And then the other cop says something about we shouldn't do it in the front yard because fish and wildlife might get mad. Both cops laugh about fish and wildlife.  We apologize for them having to come out for this, they're just laughing.  They leave, Josh and I wait for them to get out of sight and then just laugh. a lot.  I'm still breaking into random giggles an hour later.

I think my favorite part was how the cop OBVIOUSLY thought the guy was a pussy for making this much of a fuss over getting hit with a red ryder.  And the Christmas Story jokes.  I love Louisville cops. 
 
 
Current Location: ville
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Tom Petty
 
 
ohbrooks
19 June 2009 @ 02:09 am
You know why I love living in Old Louisville? Because occasionally, at 2 in the morning, you hear a bunch of guys randomly break into "STOP! In the NAME of LOOOOVE" while staggering around on the sidewalk across the street. 

ETA: THEY DID IT AGAIN TONIGHT.  Perhaps this will become a nightly ritual? I hope so.
 
 
Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
ohbrooks
15 June 2009 @ 01:46 am
Past two days have been fun.  Josh and I (along with a few other people) got a fifth of absinthe yesterday. That was fun.  And, because there is no way I could describe the entire night without a novel, I'll stick to the highpoints.  Which, if I recall correctly, were Juno and Andi showing me their boobs, Josh running around chasing people with his bare ass, Josh eating leaves, me calling someone a 'goddamn yankee cunt' (and by calling,I mean yelling, across the street, because she was affecting the worst fake british accent EVER).  Also I ended up questioning my homosexuality, when I met (after a bottle of wine and 4 glasses of absinthe) an extremely conservative republican ex-army ranger who works for the sheriff's department and carries a gun.  He let me hold it.   I wanted to jump him.  His name was Sam, so idk if it's my thing for the name Sam crossing genders or what. But Im still a solid 5 on the Kinsey scale.

Tonight might have topped it.  Drank my other bottle of wine, along with the leftover smirnoff Ice (2, I think).  Josh, his friend Megan and I went driving along bardstown road shooting hipsters with waterguns. And then went to walmart, where I read a soap opera mag and fought Josh with swords, lightsabers and pool toys.  Good god damn, shooting hipsters with water guns is the best fun ever.
 
 
ohbrooks
30 May 2009 @ 03:12 am
Because I am lazy, I'm just going to c/p the AIM conversation where I told my friend about the shenanigans across the street.


Cut to save flistCollapse )
 
 
Current Location: Ville
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Current Music: Wicked
 
 
 
ohbrooks
30 May 2009 @ 12:56 am
My roommate was babysitting his friend's little boy today.  Which turned into me babysitting both of them, because Josh is kinda fail.  He ran away from a diaper and I was like, dude, you have younger siblings, have you seriously never done this. NOOOO *run away*. Me *headdesk*.  But the kid is so sweet, and has a bit of the devil in him, my favorite combination in two year olds.  He's the kind of kid that could get away with murder by looking at you with those big blue eyes and giving you a big hug and saying I sowwy!  I wanted to keep him, Josh said no. Also we got to watch 101 dalmatians, my favorite movie growing up.  Old disney movies are so much more fun when you GET them.  

Also, I finished re-reading A Great and Terrible Beauty. and oh Fee, I love you so hard.  I was afraid I'd re-read these and find everything wrong with them, as I do with so many YA books I loved on first reading.  Nope, love it EVEN MORE this time.  SPOILERS And I'm getting into debates with my friend over when Fee and Pippa got together.  Because she thinks it's prior to Poor Dead Pippa, and I think it's after.  Granted, I think things happened before, but I don't think they were actually together until Rebel Angels.  I am of the opinion that some kind of shenanigans took place before Fee/Ithal/Boathouse, and Fee freaked because she realized she liked it and Pippa thinks it's just a game because she's naive.  Also Fee/Gemma is so much more fun than Fee/Pippa, because it's painfully obvious Felicity loves  Pippa way more than Pip loves Fee and the Felicity/Gemma dynamic is more interesting.  It would be an even relationship, and Gemma is less of a SHIT than Pippa, even though Gemma is a shit too.  And post-Sweet Far Thing, Gemma and Felicity are both so broken, have lost so much.  I have a hard time seeing either of them with someone who doesn't understand such monumental loss.  Well, except Felicity/Susan, which is the BEST OTP EVER.
 
 
Current Location: Ville
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: Brendan benson
 
 
ohbrooks
I have officially converted someone to my cracked out OTP.  Oh god, that means I might have to actually WRITE the cracked out crossover great and  terrible beauty/narnia felicity/susan fic. lord help me.
 
 
Current Location: Ville
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: Neko Case
 
 
ohbrooks
28 May 2009 @ 08:19 pm
I'm re-reading A Great and Terrible Beauty... and oh Fee.  I love her.  Even when she's being a bitch.  And how did I miss her voice being described as husky and smoky?  I also came to the realization that I ship a whole lot of ships, some more fucked up than others.  Fee/Gemma, Fee/Pippa, Fee/Circe, Gemma/Circe, Gemma/Pippa, Mary/Circe.  And oh Felicity... I seriously could not possibly love you more, but you make me so sad.  

Spoilers Ahead

So, in re-reading Im trying to figure out when Felicity and Pippa first got together.  I'm now relatively convinced that something happened immediately before Fee's little daliance with the gypsy boy, and she freaked out and went to prove her heteronormality.  Especially combined with her calling Pippa naive to Gemma right afterwards.  And the cave, oh lord the cave.  With the apple and the girl kissing.  Fee you are so. so. so. gay darling.  They had better not cut that from the movie.  I want that whole scene.  The eating out of Gemma's hand and all.  And Pippa calling Felicity's mom a whore? Yeah, they are totally having a lover's spat. Well, maybe not a lover's spat, but I think Pippa gets a little more of it at this point, and Fee certainly does, and is trying to distance herself from Pippa (because hanging out with the hot redhead is SO MUCH BETTER Fee, clearly you have not thought this through).

Tags: ,
 
 
Current Location: Ville
Current Mood: deviousdevious
 
 
ohbrooks
25 May 2009 @ 12:19 am
See, I love old louisville, because it is full of free entertainment.  Josh's friend was over.  The 3 of us did a rousing rendition of the vultures in Jungle Book.  "What do you wanna do?" "I dunno, what YOU wanna do?"  We decide to light off some leftover fireworks in the church parking lot.  Then Josh starts climbing onto rooves, because he is Spiderman, only not an emo douche.  As we are walking back to the house, we see flashing lights! What is this business? We must investigate.  And it was in that way we got to watch a drug bust go down!  There was a crowd of at least 20 just watching.  2 cop cars when we got there, 4 when all was said and done.  Please Louisville, never change.
 
 
Current Location: Ville
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Brendan Benson
 
 
ohbrooks
24 May 2009 @ 04:53 pm
I have a candle that changes colors.  I am far more amused by this than I really should be.  It was 'payment' for my playing with murphy's oil and old english.  I'm staring at it.  It's amazing.  I'm 3 years old.